


Letting Go

by ColieLox



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 20:05:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12848541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColieLox/pseuds/ColieLox
Summary: After the end of the war against Voldemort, Neville Longbottom is still dealing with his anger and despair regarding the fate of his parents. A conversation with a stranger pushes Neville to let go of the past.





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little one-shot I posted on fanfiction.net several years ago...I wanted to touch base on what he went through after the war. Neville's story is a very sad one, but I'd like to think that I wrote a happier and more hopeful beginning to the rest of his life. Enjoy!

More than anything, Neville Longbottom wanted to escape the despair that constantly engulfed him. That despair was the worst when he left his parents behind at St. Mungo's. He was certain that he would never get over what Bellatrix Lestrange had done to them. Their minds were lost, never to return again. It was maddening.

While Neville had found some comfort with the rest of his family, he would never know what it felt like to be tucked into bed by his mother. He would never even know what it felt like to have his own parents recognize him. Sometimes, there was a light in his mother's eyes when he came to visit, which suggested that she was vaguely aware that Neville was her son. That light never lasted for more than a moment or two.

The candy and bubblegum wrappers were the only thing his parents ever offered him. Despite his grandmother telling Neville to throw them away, he never did. He had a lockbox filled with the wrappers under his bed. He couldn't bring himself to throw away a single one. The wrappers were the only connection Neville's parents ever made with him, other than vacant stares and the occasional grin. He knew that the wrappers weren't his parents trying to communicate with him, and it was just a sign of their insanity. But they were all he had. No, he would never throw one away.

Out of all of his things, the wrappers were his most prized possessions. Neville sighed as he tucked the lockbox into his trunk, and headed for the door. His grandmother had recently passed away, and he couldn't stand the thought of living in her house alone. He was going to stay at the new headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix until he found a job and was able to provide himself with a home.

Despite the fact that Voldemort was long gone, the Order was still active, ensuring the safety of both the wizarding and the muggle worlds. As he stepped out of the house, he looked back. He looked fondly at the upstairs window that his beloved Uncle Algie had "accidentally" dropped him from, proving that Neville was not a squib, only a few weeks before he received his Hogwarts acceptance letter.

He admired the rose bushes in front of the house that he had planted for his grandmother's last birthday. He would miss her, and the house that he had grown up in. But his mind had been made up, and he desperately wished to create a new life for himself. A change of environment was the first part of his plan. He hoped that someday he would have a house and enough money to hire a few in-home nurses, so his parents could live with him instead of in the hospital. With the deaths of Voldemort and Lestrange, he no longer felt that their safety would be at risk, and if they were insane at least he could provide a more stimulating environment.

He had read several books on the subject of loss of brain function as a result of the cruciartus curse. While it was deemed very rare, occasionally being in a home environment rather than a hospital helped stimulate the brain and that at least could improve the victim's condition somewhat. It was a long shot, but Neville wanted to try. He knew his parents would never be themselves again, but any improvement would be worth the effort.

Neville locked the front door behind him and aparated to Grimauld place. The location of the Order of the Phoenix was no longer a secret, and all were welcome there. Neville carried his trunk up the steps and knocked. As he waited for someone to answer, he collected himself and put on the usual happy face that he showed. He never spoke of his inner turmoil to anyone, and kept it well hidden.

"Neville! It's so good to see you!" Hermione cried as she threw her arms around her old friend.

"It's good to see you too, Hermione. I wondered if I might…" Neville started, but stopped when a rather substantial diamond ring on Hermione's left hand caught his attention. He whistled in admiration as he looked at the engagement ring.

"Ron's finally plucked up the courage, eh? It's about time." He chuckled as Hermione nodded in response with a sheepish grin.

"Come in. Everyone'll be so happy to see you." Hermione said with a grin and ushered Neville inside. He was instantly swept into a sea of hugs and greetings from all directions. It seemed like ages before everyone backed off.

Every member of the DA and the Order was there that day, so there had been many hands to shake and hugs to give out.

"Longbottom." Minerva McGonagall said quietly from the corner. He turned to her, not having noticed her presence before.

"Hello, Professor." He answered as he moved toward the old woman and held out his hand to shake hers. She was no longer his teacher, but for the past seven years she had been, and he still thought of her as "professor".

"I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I was quite fond of her when we were in school." McGonagall replied, ignoring his hand and grasping his shoulder in a professional yet affectionate way. Neville only nodded and gritted his teeth, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from his chocolate colored eyes.

"I think it is safe to assume you will be staying for a while, then?" McGonagall said, sensing that a change of subject was in order.

"If that's alright. It'll only be until I find a job and get my own place." Neville replied sheepishly. She gave him a curt nod and instructed one of the new order members to take Neville's trunk upstairs.

"I have business to attend to, but I'm sure you'll be quite comfortable while you stay. The Potters will be arriving soon, and I expect you'd like some time to catch up." She finally said before departing.

"Neville Longbottom?" An older woman asked as she approached him.

"Yes, I'm Neville." He replied, unsure of who the woman was. He inspected her long, dark brown hair. Her facial features oddly resembled those of Bellatrix Lestrange. It was haunting, and Neville was unsure if he wanted to speak with this woman or not.

"I am Andromeda Tonks." She said quietly as she extended her hand in greeting. Neville reluctantly shook her hand.

"You're Tonks' mum, aren't you?" He asked, recognizing the woman's last name. Andromeda nodded sadly as she rocked her grandson, Teddy, in her arms.

"You should know…she was brilliant at the battle. She fought hard for the cause. I'm proud to have known her." Neville murmured, having gotten used to consoling family members of those who had died during the Battle at Hogwarts.

"I wondered if I might speak with you in private." Andromeda started, obviously not wanting to talk about her daughter's death. Neville nodded, having no idea what she was getting at. He followed her into the empty kitchen, and they both sat down at the table across from each other.

"I had begun to write you so many times over the years, but I always threw them away. I had decided it would be best to speak to you in person. This is quite difficult…" She started hesitantly as she continued to rock little Teddy back and forth.

"Bellatrix Lestrange was my sister. I don't approve of anything that she ever did, but she was my sister and I always loved her. Don't get me wrong, she was an atrocious woman. But she wasn't always like that." She added before pausing, waiting to be sure that Neville was going to hear her out before she continued.

When Neville remained stony-faced and made no move to exit the room, Andromeda thought it safe to assume that she had his attention.

"Don't let what she did tear away at you. I knew your mother and father, and they wouldn't have wanted you to let any hate because of my sister's actions fester and grow inside of you. It's like a cancer, Neville. It'll eat away at you until there's nothing but anger left. Don't let Bellatrix drive you to insanity too. As sad as it is to say, she would have been thrilled at the prospect of driving you to your downfall without lifting a finger. Don't let her win. Let your anger toward her go. As I understand it, you more than proved that you are the son of Frank and Alice Longbottom last year. Keep that strength inside of you, and don't ever let it go." Andromeda finally finished shakily.

Tears had begun to fall lightly down her pale cheeks. She had always known that she could never apologize for what her sister had done to Frank and Alice Longbottom. Instead, she had hoped that the current conversation would be of more help to Neville.

Neville sat stiffly in his chair, completely speechless. Andromeda's words were rolling through his mind. Andromeda sensed that Neville needed time to think about what she'd said and she quietly exited the room, which Neville didn't seem to notice.

As Neville sat in silence, he continued to mull over everything that Andromeda had said. Her words were very different than what he had expected. He had thought she was going to apologize profusely for her sister's actions, offer her condolences regarding his grandmother's death, and leave it at that. He hadn't expected anything she had to say to actually mean something to him.

And she was right. He couldn't let his anger and despair take over. He needed to let it go and forget about Bellatrix Lextrage. The old bat was dead in the ground now, where she belonged. In that moment, Neville resolved to let his hatred lie with her.

Neville sighed and headed back out into the parlor, where Harry and a very pregnant Ginny Potter had just arrived. Neville spent the rest of the evening laughing and catching up with his friends, and before he knew it, the majority of the Order and DA members began to head home. Neville silently went upstairs and into the empty bedroom where his trunk had been placed, and crawled into bed.

For the first time, it felt like a huge weight wasn't sitting on top of his chest. He could breathe, and his mind wasn't taken over with all the horrible things he'd do to Bellatrix Lestrange if given the chance. Instead, Neville thought about the new life he would create for himself. He would go out the next morning and look for a job. When he had enough money, he would buy a house and bring his parents home. And hopefully, there would be a wife and children in his future as well.

Armed with a new take on life and a plan for a brilliant future, Neville slowly drifted off to sleep.


End file.
